by Chris Brandt
Kim Davis, the County Clerk who has made headlines with her refusal to issue marriage licenses to same sex couples in Kentucky, has been described by some supporters as the Rosa Parks of evangelical Christians. Here are some other brave freedom fighters who should also be compared to the civil rights hero:
1) Anthony Weiner, the Rosa Parks of Exhibitionists:
When Weiner was first exposed, tweeting photos of his sizable member to unsuspecting women, many thought his political career was over. But Weiner did not let the terrible prejudice against sending unsolicited dick pics stop him. He bravely ran for mayor of New York in 2013, and was again sabotaged by Puritanical forces and pushed out of the race, leaving New Yorkers to vote for Bill De Blasio, who is not nearly as bold nor well endowed as the great Weiner. We pray, for the sake of all Americans, that Weiner will rise again.
2) Jenny McCarthy, the Rosa Parks of Anti-Vaxxers:
Jenny McCarthy has been leading the crusade against vaccines for years. When critics attack McCarthy, cruelly and callously bringing up the fact that there is no reliable scientific evidence that vaccines cause autism or developmental delays, she stands firmly by her principles. Who cares about annoying buzzwords like “research” or “evidence”? Who are you going to believe: a bunch of pencil necked geeks who sit in a lab with a microscope all day, or a blonde babe who once hosted Singled Out, which is undeniably the greatest MTV show ever? McCarthy gave me one of my first erections, which makes her a highly qualified scientist as far as I’m concerned. McCarthy doesn’t need research: she knows that vaccines are bad, and we all know that good science is about the gut, not the brain.
3) Outkast: the Rosa Parks of Musicians who Reference Rosa Parks:
After the 1998 release of Rosa Parks, Rosa Parks herself sued the group for misusing her name. Outkast, in the spirit of Rosa Parks, refused to let Rosa Parks bully them, and fought back against the lawsuit. They fought for freedom of expression, and bravely lived out Rosa Parks’ ideals as they defended themselves against Rosa Parks’ attacks.
4) My Uncle Don: the Rosa Parks of Assholes Who Make You Feel Uncomfortable at Family Gatherings:
Despite the sissification of American culture and the advent of political correctness, Uncle Don continues to act like an unrepentant asshole at family gatherings. Uncle Don will tell your girlfriend she has “an ass like an apple” and wonder aloud what the hell she’s doing with you, especially when you have a nose that doesn’t end until next Tuesday. Then he’ll chuckle, slap you on the back and say, “I’m just messing with you, kiddo!” If you complain or get angry with Uncle Don, he’ll tell you to stop wining and act like a man, saying “what, can’t you take a joke?” Like Parks on that bus in Montgomery, no amount of pressure will stop Uncle Don from being himself, which includes blaming our nation’s woes on “feminazis and illegals,” and finding the physical flaws loved ones are most sensitive about and exploiting them relentlessly.