Point/Counterpoint: Health Care

Now, for a fresh perspective, we bring you “Point/Counterpoint”, a Devil’s Advocate view of the critical issues. Today, as we prepare for our upcoming stand-up comedy benefit for La Clinica Del Pueblo, we issue a Point/Counterpoint on the critical issue of HEALTH CARE. For these points we put ourselves in the minds of our political opposition, to the extent that that is possible, and allow them to debate each other. Let’s see how it plays out.

  • POINT: HEALTH CARE IS UNNECESSARY. Health care is unnecessary for most people. Did you know that most people are healthy? From listening to the news you’d think that the whole damn country is on dialysis. But in fact it’s the opposite. A full 90% of Americans are totally healthy. WTF? Why do we even need health care then? I feel fine! How are you? You’re probably fine and if you’re not there’s probably not much that can be done for you. I’m so sick and tired of doctors and nurses being in charge of our damn health care system, as if they don’t stand to gain by all of us running to the hospital. I say: shut the whole dastardly medieval experiment down.
  • COUNTERPOINT: HEALTH CARE IS TERRIBLE. Health care is really bad. Did you know that malpractice and medical error are leading causes of death? Probs best to skip the headache, or the critically urgent surgery, altogether. Let’s move away from a government sponsored health care system to nothing at all, that’s what I say. When was your last trip to the hospital? Was it fun? Statistically speaking, it was a drag. Research shows that most hospital visits are negative experiences. Why do we keep going? I took a friend to the hospital once and you know what happened? He died. Sure, he was probably dead before we got there; I didn’t ask him. My point is that we’ve been brainwashed into believing that we’re supposed to be so healthy that every time anything goes wrong – say a paper cut, or a heart attack – we run like little children to a doctor, who tells us that we need an operation or a drug or we’re going to die. Except you know what? We’re going to die anyway. That’s how it goes. How is this even a thing?! I think we would all breathe a whole lot easier – or not at all – withOUT health care, because health care is terrible.

Putting yourself in the mind of your opposition can be a powerful tool. I think we’ve all learned something from this little exercise, don’t you? I learned that our opposition, or at least my closest mental facsimile thereto, is mentally insane and totally devoid of empathy and should definitely be removed from power. How about you?

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